President Kelly Bamf Foster
M. Ace, she/her. ISTP. Consumer of sweet tea and fine literature, like Homestuck. I complain a lot.
Kirk to my Bones
Grantaire to my Enjolras [x]
Dave to my Dirk
Dirk<3Dave
hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“We’re married!?”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian.”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING

hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

This was a good start.

We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

But I’m not.

Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

We’re married!?

Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

Vegetarian.

Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

I want a divorce!

And he walked out of the classroom.

The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING


  20th Oct  ×  350786  ×  reblog
photo    

high-zen-burg:

this is for all the girls who are big girls that don’t have a skinnier middle than their butt and thighs 

the ones whos bellies hang over their underwear

who’s waist size is thicker than their shoulders, butt, or anywhere else on their bodies

who’s boobs are bigger than their butts, they have curvy lumps on their backs, muffin tops, chicken legs, thick arms and smaller bodies, no boobs, no butt, all middle, whatever.

you’re loved too. don’t forget that.


  20th Oct  ×  69833  ×  reblog

david-tennant-in-the-tardis:

merlsy:

merlsy:

so apparently the risk management people at my university have told my political science professor that his tardis door is in violation of blah blah blah because “people might think police are actually available in his office”

ummm….

image

okay, tamuc. okay.

y’all oh my gosh i am so done. i went by his office this morning and he’s added all of this to his bulletin board:

image

image

image

i’m crygikng’;e

image


  20th Oct  ×  79357  ×  reblog

your-sinking-ships:

lukehadtobail:

"there is nothing wrong with our school system"

Fuck it I’m reblogging


  20th Oct  ×  30786  ×  reblog

nephu:

this just hit me so hard


  20th Oct  ×  302504  ×  reblog

ask-robodirk-andhal:

Your Favourite Misfits as Halloweenies.


  20th Oct  ×  456  ×  reblog

kaniethiio:

"sexuality is a choice"

image

"women wouldn’t get raped if they didn’t wear revealing clothes"

image

"there are only two genders"

image

"i’m not trying to be sexist/racist, but.."

image

"a/bi/pansexuality isn’t real"

image

"gay people shouldn’t have children"

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"i don’t want to be friends with a gay person, they could hit on me"

image

"you can’t identify with the gender you want to be, only the one you were born with"

image


  20th Oct  ×  437745  ×  reblog

chickenkaboob:

losing your friend in hot topicimage


  20th Oct  ×  34126  ×  reblog
sugar-soul:

I want to believe it’s all the same guy

sugar-soul:

I want to believe it’s all the same guy


  20th Oct  ×  110679  ×  reblog

The Signs and their Rooms 

  • Aries: Messy, messy, messy. 'The chair' (you know which chair I'm talking about) has probably disappeared among all their clothes. Theory is that it probably fused to the ground.
  • Taurus: They have an ingrained connection with every single one of their posessions. They know you moved that sock 0.2 meters to the left don't deny it.
  • Gemini: Where's the floor? No one knows anymore. When they magically decide to clean up, it's like christmas morning when they find something they don't even remember having. Then, they get distracted by said thing and forget about cleaning up.
  • Cancer: Their room is their sanctuary. Probably going through an ant invasion because of all the food they eat there. Most likely to have a secret food stash.
  • Leo: Usually organized, though they can be lazy. They probably don't move enough to have a mess.
  • Virgo: Same as Taurus. Like the Eye of Sauron, they know everything that goes down there.They go into phases in which everything is probably color coded. They get lazy and give up a few weeks later when no one notices.
  • Libra: Probably unlivable until they decide Today is the Day and organize everything. They get bored halfway through and go back to feeling sorry for themselves because their rooms aren't pretty.
  • Scorpio: The walls are full with their interests. The mess control is manageable. Once you go in, it might be too dark to find your way out.
  • Sagittarius: Doesn't care at all about mess. Until they see someone else's clean room and their competitive gene appears. Soon it dies down and they go back to not caring.
  • Capricorn: Puts everyone else's to shame. Mostly, because like Leo, they are not naturally messy. Can be OCD about their space.
  • Aquarius: Their interests are also everywhere. They sleep next to their laptop. Their desk is no man's land.
  • Pisces: Clutter is their natural habitat. They probably don't remember the last time they turned on the lights. The windows have never been opened. An excavation team is needed to find the floor. Until people come over, then it's DEFCON 4 and everything is either organized or hidden.

  20th Oct  ×  25799  ×  reblog
virgo and libra    tru    

  20th Oct  ×  8513  ×  reblog
im so fuckin    kill me    c: ellie's boy    
gendeerfluid:

rileyisafox:

epic-humor:

imjustally:
"CHRISTMAS INTENSIFIES"

They see me rollin. They humbug.

its not even halloween let me enjoy the skeletons first before shoving santa up my anus

gendeerfluid:

rileyisafox:

epic-humor:

imjustally:

"CHRISTMAS INTENSIFIES"

They see me rollin. They humbug.

its not even halloween let me enjoy the skeletons first before shoving santa up my anus


  20th Oct  ×  433514  ×  reblog

calibornsmainsqueeze:

trans people taking testosterone need to drink orange juice cause testosterone weakens your immune system!! trans people taking estrogen need to drink milk cause estrogen causes calcium to be absorbed less


  20th Oct  ×  25689  ×  reblog
postcumming:

where is the lie

postcumming:

where is the lie


  20th Oct  ×  134040  ×  reblog

http://dont-touch-lola.tumblr.com/post/100544828200 

into-the-weeds:

driftcompatib1e:

bemusedlybespectacled:

okay so everyone’s making “steve rogers freaks out the media with his rampant progressivism” posts but

imagine bruce banner

bruce banner, who has lived in poverty, who has been an undocumented worker, who has seen…


  20th Oct  ×  10166  ×  reblog